Chez Weewoo 5: Halloween

Jhudora and I arrived at the Chez Weewoo for the annual Halloween Costume Ball, and I immediately stepped into a Faux Pas. Our resident white Lupess Nimras had already arrived with her date Jeran, cleverly disguised as himself in his full armor. I had worn my own armor because it was a Halloween tradition of mine, and we were both blue Lupes.  To make matters worse, Piksie and Lisha were both dressed in Jerdana costumes. At least they found it amusing and were already talking at the refreshment table with Alex and Mango, appropriately attired as Lilo and Stitch.

Kat and Animageous were standing by with tranquilizer dart guns, ready to deal with anyone who went into a sugar-crazed frenzy. Kat was dressed as Mipsy, complete with silly shoes, and I think that Ani was Kyishi the Limbo Queen. They were both staring at Jhudora decked out in a Star Trek uniform, the Counselor Troi miniskirt version, with a SciFi Convention Name Badge, a pocket protector with four leaking pens and a pair of massive glasses she must have stolen from the Library Faerie.

“And you must be?” Kat asked.

Jhudora smiled. “The Dorkiest Faerie.”

Everyone looked up in surprise when Sloth himself burst through the door. I thought at first that it might be Undead Marshall’s costume, except that he and Reve had arrived dressed as Gomez and Morticia Addams. Sloth glanced at first Jeran and then myself before striding purposefully in my direction. He could tell us apart easily enough, since I was both older and more intelligent-looking (he-he!)

“So, you must be the vile cur who has tried to steal the affection of Me Fair Jhudora!” he declared in gallant tones, sparing a disdainful glance at Ariana dressed as the Happiness Faerie.

“I challenge you, insolent whelp!” He tried to slap me across the muzzle with his glove, except that I ducked and he ended up slapping Jhudora instead. She snatched the glove and slapped him back.

“Defend your miserable hide!” Sloth snapped as he lunged at me.

I knew that he was trying to trip me, using the weight of my armor against me. But two could play at that game, and I knew two of Sloth’s deepest secrets.

“Be warned that I know the ancient art of Goo Chi!” I said as I leaped upon Sloth and tickled him fiercely. “Goochi Goochi Goo!”

Sloth began to howl with laughter - its amazing just how wide that mouth of his can open - and I gave him a firm shove. He tottered for a moment as he fought to regain his balance, then seemed to break in half as he collapsed into his robe. He struggled inside its dark folds until he was able to throw it off and two small, enraged Sloths emerged. Yes, Sloth is really two green Chias, one standing on the shoulders of another hidden inside that robe. For a moment the two tiny Sloths stood there fuming and sputtering in fury. I might even say that Sloth was quite beside himself.

He. . .er, they might have tried some last dirty trick. But Jeran was suddenly there by my side and we made an intimidating sight, two large blue Lupes in full plate armor flashing big, toothy grins.

“Yum, Chias!” we declared.

Both Sloths stared at our fangs, the green thingies on their heads sticking straight up. Then with a cry of terror they turned and bolted for the door as fast as their short Chia legs would carry them. Kat and Ani caught them each in the sit-upon with a dart.

“You the Man!” Jeran declared as we exchanged High-Fives.

“No, I used to be the Man. Now I’m the Lupe!”

We began to sing as we did a little dance, our armor clanking.

“Lupes are big and Lupes are brave!
Lupes will put you in your grave!
Lupes are always fierce and true,
But no one beats a Lupe that’s blue!”

Jhudora was regarding us tolerantly with crossed arms. “Are you two quite done?”

That was when we noticed that the entire Guild was staring in speechless amazement. There was nothing left for us to do but take a bow.